how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
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