Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
