she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
The police scanner is talking about you again....
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
Randomize
