were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
false alarm, still single
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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