My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
Randomize
