yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
this morning i woke up under the kitchen table. i went to my room and there was an inflatable whale in my bed with a banana duct taped to where its penis should be. there were trails of cheez-its around my apartment and i found $67 in the crotch of my underwear. im guessing i had a very happy birthday.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
Randomize
