none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Randomize
