If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Randomize
