His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
