You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Randomize
