i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
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