I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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