she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
Randomize
