we have pet lesbian snakes
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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