i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
Randomize
