it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
