Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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