So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Randomize