i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
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