My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Randomize
