dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
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