There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
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