Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
Randomize
