ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Randomize
