I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Randomize
