why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
