I think scott just propositioned me for sex
my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
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