I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
Randomize
