I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
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