my vag is so smooth its legendary
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize