sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
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