I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
Randomize
