Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
