Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
I can't turn off my feet"
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
Randomize
