It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Randomize
