I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Randomize