Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize
