Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
y did u give ur computer a hand job?
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
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