I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
pop tarts are not kleenex
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
Randomize
