She's JV to your varsity
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
They have beer where we have blood.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize
