you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Randomize
