i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
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