we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
Randomize
