Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
Randomize
