That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
Randomize
