ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
Randomize