She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
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