I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize
