Porn is love you can see.
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
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