8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
where are you?
Hypothermia
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
