I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize
