Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
Randomize
