Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Randomize
