I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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