i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
Randomize
