dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
Randomize
