great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
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