You made me cry and you don't even care
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
