I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
Randomize
