she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
