Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
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